it's finally proven and reassured (by myself) that I couldn't move on without a schedule,
a plan or definite goals.
I think a lot of us are always stuck in cycles of complaining
when we are damn hectic and wants a little break or holiday.
But when it comes to holidays,
unconsciously, our whole body and brain slacks down...
they had difficulties coming back with that vigour to work.

It's super obvious to me.
Everytime I slack down, without something restricting me,
I just don't feel like doing anything and hope to shun away from everything.
We all know and we call that laziness.

That really blew off my spirit and motivation.
And I hate it.

Everyone is different and could tolerant different things to certain extent.
I just couldn't stand myself slugging around when I know that's a lot to be done.
Probably that is how I often stress myself up so much that I suffocate...

letting go and stepping back don't quite work for me. Or maybe I am stepping back the wrong way.
What on earth is wrong with me to think of all these?
These random thoughts just tangled me today. the whole day. and I wasted a day procrastinating and unwilling to make a move...

Learning how to get out of this sluggish is important. (at least to myself) Otherwise, it will change one's mentally... till someone I can't recognize anymore....